Building Everyday Resilience

Erica Beth

Welcome, I am Erica Beth and this is My Positive Day.

Erica Beth

Let's take a moment to really unpack resilience. You know, it’s one of those words we hear a lot, but—what does it really mean? People often think it’s just about bouncing back—like a rubber band snapping back into shape. But honestly, it’s so much more. The American Psychological Association talks about resilience as this flexible adaptation. It’s about adjusting mentally, emotionally, even behaviorally, when life throws you a curveball. And and it’s not about going back to how things were; it’s about figuring out a new path forward.

Erica Beth

The brain, by the way, plays such a huge role in all this. Like, there’s this whole team effort going on up there. The prefrontal cortex is your decision-making center. It helps you regulate emotions and make thoughtful choices instead of, well, reacting impulsively. And then there’s the amygdala. It’s the emotional sentinel of the brain. For resilient folks, it stays calmer under pressure, so they’re less likely to, you know, spiral when things get tough. Oh, and let’s not forget neuroplasticity—this amazing thing where the brain actually rewires itself. It’s wild, but it means we’re we’re literally built to adapt and grow, even after really hard times.

Erica Beth

I’ll give you an example. Just a little story about my oldest daughter, Kate. Last year, she had this crazy-hard math class, and I mean, it was... it felt like setback after setback. At first, she was discouraged, like, really down on herself, you know? But we kinda sat down together, and we reframed it. Instead of thinking, "I’m I’m bad at this," we started saying, "I’m learning how to get better at this." It was subtle but powerful—and you could see the shift in her attitude. And by the end of the semester, she not only passed but also rediscovered this confidence I hadn’t seen in her in a while. It wasn’t about the grade; it was about seeing herself handle a tough situation and realizing, 'Hey, I can do hard things.'

Erica Beth

And really, that’s the heart of resilience, right? Tapping into this inner strength to adapt, to grow, even when life feels impossibly hard.

Erica Beth

There’s this fascinating idea that resilience is like a sturdy house, and the strength of its foundation depends on four key pillars: connection, wellness, healthy thinking, and meaning. I mean, these aren’t just flashy buzzwords—they’re deeply rooted in science, and they make this whole process of building resilience feel, well, tangible.

Erica Beth

Let’s start with connection. Think about the people in your life—your family, friends, mentors. Having a strong support system is like an emotional safety net. It’s not just about having someone to talk to, though that’s important. It’s also about how those connections help shape your responses to stress. For example, studies show that kindness is almost... contagious. During the California wildfires a few years back, I saw it firsthand in my community. Neighbors helped rebuild homes, donated supplies, even just offered a listening ear. Those small acts of kindness rippled out, creating this incredible collective strength. It’s that sense of ‘we’re in this together’ that makes challenges feel a little lighter, you know?

Erica Beth

Then there’s wellness—taking care of our physical and mental health. It sounds simple, but when life gets tough, wellness is often the first thing to slip. We skip meals, don’t sleep enough, maybe even withdraw. But the truth is, even small steps, like a short walk or a decent night’s rest, give your brain the resources it needs to handle stress. It’s like, if you’re running on fumes, it’s hard to stay resilient. Taking care of your body is really about giving your mind the fuel to thrive.

Erica Beth

Now, healthy thinking—this one’s like a superpower for resilience. It’s about optimism, but not the sugar-coated kind where everything’s rosy. It’s about believing that setbacks, even really tough ones, are temporary. And reframing challenges? That’s huge. Instead of thinking, "Why is this happening to me?", resilient people often say, "What can I learn from this?" It’s this small but profound shift in perspective that rewires the brain over time for greater adaptive thinking.

Erica Beth

So, we’ve talked about the big ideas of resilience—how the brain adapts, the power of connection, and those four pillars. Now, let’s shift gears and talk about the little things you can do every day to build a resilient mindset. Habits that are simple, but make such a big difference.

Erica Beth

One of the most powerful tools is mindfulness. And let me just say—you don’t need to sit cross-legged on a mountain to practice it. Mindfulness can be as simple as pausing, taking a deep breath, and tuning into the present moment. Just last week, before a really hectic day, I spent two minutes—literally, just two minutes—focusing on my breathing. Inhale through the nose, exhale slowly through the mouth. I swear, it was like hitting a reset button. It’s about giving your brain a break, you know? And over time, those little pauses train your mind to stay calm under pressure.

Erica Beth

Another habit is gratitude journaling. And I know—this one gets talked about a lot, but hear me out. Every night, I write down three things I’m grateful for. They don’t have to be monumental—it could be the way the sunlight filtered through the window or the fact that my youngest, Lily, actually loaded the dishwasher without being asked. Okay, that last one might be monumental! But seriously, taking a moment to notice the good rewires your brain to focus on positivity. It doesn’t erase the hard stuff, but it balances it out in such a powerful way.

Erica Beth

And then there’s setting small, achievable goals. This one’s a game-changer during stressful times. When life feels overwhelming, break it down into little pieces. Say you’re feeling stuck at work—like you’re drowning in tasks. Instead of tackling everything at once, pick one thing. Do it, celebrate it, and let that momentum carry you forward. I like to think of it as gathering small wins—step by step, they add up to something so much bigger.

Erica Beth

Of course, self-care is the foundation of it all. And honestly, it’s the first thing we let slide when things get tough, isn’t it? We stay up too late scrolling through our phones, skip meals, or tell ourselves we don’t have time for a walk. But here’s the thing: self-care isn’t selfish. It’s essential. Eating well, getting enough sleep, spending time on a hobby—it’s not about being indulgent. It’s about giving your body and mind the energy they need to navigate life’s challenges. For me, I’ve made a point to carve out a little time for hiking. Being out in nature just resets me—it’s like a stress antidote.